Principle vs. Style: On which of these two hills are you willing to die?

In matters of style, flow with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. ~ Thomas Jefferson 

How can a person decide whether or not to have an argument over any topic? Perhaps understanding the difference between "style" and "principle" might give us a clue.

As a participant in the IT industry, it is very easy to get wrapped up into arguments (and even conflict) about how to implement a solution or why a technology is better than another.  Some times, perhaps more than we would be willing to admit, the time we invest (maybe waste) while participating in these discussions could be used in other, much productive, tasks.

For the purpose of this piece, I'm not including arguments that occur between parties who are intellectually honest and genuinely seeking an optimal solution to a problem. I particularly enjoy those types of discussions because at the end of one of them, typically, I end up increasing my knowledge on a topic or cementing the command / mastery I have regarding that topic.

You probably know the type of arguments on which I'm trying to focus.  The kind of arguments that lead no-where fast.  You can spend 90+ minutes of painful discussion and not be any better off. No growth. No progress. No life.

The question we are then left with is: when is it worth engaging in these types of arguments?  Perhaps good-old T.J. (see quote above) can give us a clue.

Before engaging in arguments and spending valuable time, ensure that you are debating what you consider to be a "principle."  Make sure you state your position clearly about the principle you are defending.  At this point, two things can transpire. Either the principle you are defending is validated or you find out that you were wrong and make adjustments to your thinking accordingly. Either way, you win! Do not forget to:

• Be an engaged / active listener. Concentrate on fully understanding what your opponent says and means
• Be intellectually honest
• Stick to facts, don't rely on opinion
• Be courteous
• Be respectful

The second  you realize you are about to pick an intellectual fight about matters of "style," take a knee. Issues of style tend to be subjective and therefore are governed by what a person's opinion on the subject at hand.  These are very difficult arguments to entertain.

If, after taking a knee and considering the potential conflict ahead, you still think that it is worthwhile have an argument / heated discussion about matters of style, consider the following:

• Be an engaged / active listener. Concentrate on fully understanding what your opponent says and means
• Be intellectually honest
• Stick to facts, don't rely on opinion
• Be courteous
• Be respectful

I'm sure that we can spend the next 3 years adding attributes to this list. I suspect, by now, you get the main point.

If you feel lead, I invite you to share your thoughts or anecdotes about this topic. Let us know how / when you choose to fight for a cause (principle) or go with the flow (style).